The Tea Conundrum
by Nixi Stasia
Summary: A random crack one shot. This fanfic includes, a Professor who is very desperate for tea, a polar bear, hot chocolate and Clive hiding in the freezer.


**AN: Ok, so technically I should be updating 'The Childhood Secret' but I don't feel like it. I wanna write this. Because I'm drinking tea! Which is pretty weird because I normally drink coffee in the mornings...**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Professor Layton! The closest I'll ever become is by occasionally writing fan mail to level-5 (that's true by the way, I have written to them several times. Sadly, they haven't replied yet :()**

The Tea Conundrum

Professor Hershel Layton, was a well known puzzle solving, archaeologist, who was often mistaken for a detective. The mistake was most likely made due to the many times he appeared on the front of the London newspapers, with headlines that read 'Puzzle Solving Detective Does It Again' or 'Detective Layton Solves Another Mystery'. Kind of hard to miss. All that we can learn from this is that London needs to empty better journalists. Then again, our economy goes up and down like the tide and at the moment, the tide (economy wise, I'm using a metaphor guys!) was very shallow indeed, so they had to make due with what they could get, I suppose.

Anyway, after solving these extraordinary mysteries, Professor Layton liked to relax with a nice, simple puzzle (the picarats ranging from 60 to 150- I never said simple for us) and a cup of tea.

One day, after solving a most perplexing mystery, which included a roller skating dog and a spaceman that had invented a shrink ray, he came home, like he always did, gave Luke a lecture about how to be a gentleman, like he always did, took his shoes off, like he always... Wait no. He'd never done that before. Oh, but his shoes were very muddy, so it made sense.

Then, his favourite part of the day, he went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

Only, there were no teabags. Or milk. Or sugar.

Or the kettle.

"Luke?" the Professor yelled, furious.

"Yes, 'fessah?" Luke said, coming out of the fridge, where he'd been doing an important experiment.

"What's up, Prof?" Clive asked, coming out of the freezer, where he was doing a not-so-important and pretty dangerous, but funny, experiment.

"Why has all the equipment and ingredients for tea disappeared?" the Professor asked.

"Erm..." Clive and Luke both said in unison.

"They did it!" Flora shouted, coming out from the floorboards.

"No we did not!" Clive protested," But, where did you come from?"

"Well, when a mummy and daddy..." Flora began.

"Yeah, yeah, I know the story," Clive interrupted,"But why did you come out from the floorboards?"

"I didn't, I came out off my Mum's..."

"Shut up about all that! Just why were you under the floorboards?" Luke asked.

"Why were you in the freezer?" Flora asked.

"WILL ALL OF YOU STOP YAPPERING ON ABOUT HOW YOU CAME INTO EXISTENCE AND WHY YOU ALL EMERGED FROM EXTREMELY ODD AND SLIGHTLY DANGEROUS PLACES! WE HAVE A MUCH MORE SERIOUS MATTER ON OUR HANDS!" the Professor shrieked," Now, Flora what were you saying about Clive and Luke did?"

"Huh?... Oh yeah, they did it. It was them! They bought the polar bear!" Flora accused.

"Oh, Flora!" Clive and Luke moaned.

"You promised not to tell!" Luke groaned.

"A polar bear?" Layton asked, getting distracted from the serious tea predicament.

"Yeah, the polar bear behind you. Luke and Clive bought it from a strange man who came to the door. I think he was a schizophrenic..." Flora explained.

"Yeah, and now we're doing an experiment to find out what it's like to be a polar bear," Clive said," That's why we were in the freezer and the fridge."

Layton turned around, and as Flora had said, there was AN AWESOME, GIANT, CUDDLY POLAR BEAR (which knew how to play the banjo)!

"Right, we have a much more pressing matter on our hands right now," Layton said," For some reason, there are no teabags, no milk, no sugar and the kettle has gone missing. What has happened?"

"Oh, I can answer that," Clive said," Sooty likes teabags, the milk has gone because that's what we used to pay for the polar bear and Luke ate all the sugar, because we ran out of chocolate ice cream."

"Who's Sooty?" Flora asked.

"The polar bear," Luke replied.

"You named a polar bear, Sooty?" Flora asked, confused.

"Yep, and the kettle got broken when a bunch of ninjas broke into the house to try and steal Sooty," Luke replied.

"Right..." Layton said," So what can we drink if there isn't any tea?"

"Well, Sooty can make hot chocolate," Clive suggested.

Sooty nodded in agreement and picked up her banjo and began to play 'Sexy and I know it.'

"That will have to do, then," Layton shrugged.

As the four humans and the polar bear sat down on the sofa drinking hot chocolate, they began to realise hot chocolate was much better than tea. Mainly because it included chocolate.

"So Flora what were you doing under the floorboards?" Layton asked.

"I was bidding for something on ebay," Flora replied.

"What?" Clive asked.

"A grizzly bear," Flora replied," I think I won. I didn't get to see the end, but there was 5 seconds left and I was winning."

_Ding dong_

"Special delivery for Flora Reinhold!" a voice called, from outside.

**AN: Ok, so there was a distraction from the tea, but polar bears are awesome!**

**Oh and if you like my funny one shots, check out 'Clive and the Science Lesson'.**

**I may make more of these one shots, because they're actually really fun!**

**Oh and tonight's the Olympic opening ceremony! I don't particularly like the Olympics, but seen as we're hosting them I felt I better mention them!**


End file.
